An Ellesmere Port man who told his wife ‘not to come in‘ as he’s wrapping her Christmas presents has, instead, just been masturbating for the last 35 minutes.
The man, thirty-two-year-old Tom from Girton Road, instructed his wife he needed some time to himself to wrap up her Christmas presents, and that she shouldn’t enter the bedroom or else the surprise would be ruined. However, Tom hasn’t actually started his Christmas shopping yet and doesn’t intend to until around 2pm on December 24th.
Tom has, instead, been using the ‘alone time‘ to log onto PornHub and furiously beat his trouser pole to a creamy pulp.
Tom’s wife, meanwhile, has been smiling to herself downstairs at what a considerate and loving husband she has. She has even been looking on Amazon for some additional Christmas presents for her husband, due to him being so prepared and caring this year.
If she knew the truth, and that Tom had just flung his puss around at the sight of S&M Gonzo Mania III, she would most likely be filing for divorce.
Tom plans to spend a few more hours in the run up to Christmas ‘wrapping presents‘ for his wife due to the success of this particular wrapping session.
