Arsenal to recreate Emirates atmosphere by dubbing silence over behind-closed-door games
Arsenal F.C. has today confirmed they will be recreating the atmosphere of a packed Emirates when matches resume by pumping silence into the ground...
Chester Zoo to open exhibit of Ellesmere Port men
The popular tourist attraction, Chester Zoo, has announced it is to open an exhibit featuring men from Ellesmere Port. The exhibit, entitled ‘Primitive Port’,...
Kids and Gays locked in BITTER tussle over Rainbow ownership
The UK's children have staged a coup against the gays to take back control of the rainbow symbol, it has been confirmed.
The rainbow has...
Chester Zoo Successfully Breeds Dinosaurs
A Chester Zoo spokesperson, has confirmed the news the science world has been waiting for decades to hear: Chester Zoo has successfully bred the...
Queen watching Suits on Netflix to find out who Meghan Markle is
The Queen has been hurriedly watching Suits, on Netflix, in a bid to find out who this girl is who will be marrying her...
Avengers: Endgame posts £43.4m opening weekend after family of five buys popcorn
The epic conclusion to Marvel’s 22 movie saga, Avengers: Endgame, has posted a UK box office of £43.4 million after a family of five...
People with “Be Kind” on their profile photo “Absolute Twats” study finds
The current trend of adding "Be Kind" to your profile photo on Facebook has been taken up by the country's biggest pricks, it has...
Cliff Richard changes his name to Iff
Sir Cliff Richard has announced that he is following the example set by Kanye West, and has changed his name to ‘Iff’.
Kaye West recently...
Boris Johnson to represent UK in Eurovision 2019
UK to show Europe what an idiot who just makes stupid noises is all about.
Following the winner of this year’s Eurovision, Netta from Israel,...
Spice Girls to perform at Whitby Sports & Social Club
90s girl group, the Spice Girls, have added Ellesmere Port’s Whitby Sports & Social Club to their tour dates for 2019.
The Spice Girls, who...
