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Friday, July 1, 2022

Entertainment

From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Jeremy Kyle clears calendar after visit to Ellesmere Port

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Bug-eyed aggressive chav baiter, Jeremy Kyle, has cleared his calendar for the next 6 months after spending 20 minutes in the Port Arcades in...

Donald Trump cancels King’s Landing visit

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Orange buffoon, Donald Trump, has cancelled his visit to King’s Landing amid fears he wouldn’t be welcome in Westeros by the Lannisters. Trump was due...

Mrs Brown’s Boys officially the second biggest cause of suicides over festive period

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Figures released by emotional support charity, The Samaritans, show that the BBC 'comedy' Mrs Brown's Boys was responsible for the second highest number of...

Rick Astley gives you up following stint in rehab

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Quiffed 80’s icon Rick Astley has finally kicked his reliance on you after spending three weeks in rehab. The Lancastrian entertainer famously insisted he was...

Britain devastated ‘wrong ginger’ leaving country

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The UK is said to be absolutely devastated to discover the ginger packing up and leaving for the USA is NOT Ed Sheeran. When news...

Liverpool’s Fourth Round FA Cup tie to be televised on CBEEBIES

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It has been announced that the Fourth Round FA Cup match between Liverpool and the winner of Bristol City or Shrewsbury will be televised...

Ellesmere Port residents claim Wombles aren’t pulling their weight

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Some residents in ELLESMERE PORT have announced they’re dissatisfied with the work being put in by Wombles, as the town still looks a shit-tip. They...

Disaster movies where government ignores scientists reclassified as documentaries

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Big-budget Hollywood disaster movies, such as 2012 and San Andreas, have been reclassified as documentaries by the Internet Movie Database (IMDB). In the movies, scientists...

“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...

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The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle. Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...

The Voice winner once again forgets to tick box allowing publicity

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This year's winner of The Voice, thingy, forgot to tick the box on their application form consenting to publicity. This oversight has happened every...

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