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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Thomas the Tank Engine arrested in Operation Yewtree sting

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Another children’s TV icon has fallen by the wayside as 80s favourite Thomas the Tank Engine has been implicated in a sex-abuse scandal following...

Coronation Street / Eastenders Crossover to create Combined Soap Universe

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Soap fans are in for a real treat later this year as plans have been announced for a Combined Soap Universe (CSU) to rival...

What happens when an irresistible twat meets an immovable cunt

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Piers Morg*n and Donald Tr*mp met this weekend, to decide once and for all who was the bigger bellend. The Two Twitter Twats locked...

Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs

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Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television. Boris walked out of the job...

Tommy Robinson to ‘read’ the BFG on CBeebies Bedtime Stories

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Loveable champion of the people, Tommy Robinson, is to 'read' a CBeebies Bedtime Story this week. Tommy will be reading the Roald Dahl classic...

Gerry McCann to enter the jungle

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Parenting expert, Gerry McCann, has been revealed as the latest celebrity to enter the jungle on ITV’s hit show I’m A Celebrity, Get Me...

Boring James Milner parody account to SUE James Milner for copyright infringement

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The PARODY Twitter account for James Milner, @BoringMilner, has announced it is suing the Liverpool player James Milner for copyright infringement. For several years Boring...

Jeremy Kyle clears calendar after visit to Ellesmere Port

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Bug-eyed aggressive chav baiter, Jeremy Kyle, has cleared his calendar for the next 6 months after spending 20 minutes in the Port Arcades in...

Queen wins Chester’s inaugural gurning competition

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Her Majesty the Queen arrived in Chester this afternoon to enter the town’s inaugural gurning competition, where people attempt to make the most unpleasant...

Louie Spence announces the gays will hit Texas with another hurricane

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Louie Spence has convened a meeting of the nation’s top gays to discuss the recent accusations from religious leaders. The gays have been blamed...

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