CONFIRMED: 97% of chefs wipe their cock on Piers Morgan’s food
A recent poll of the nation's chefs has confirmed that 97% admitted to wiping their cock on Piers Morgan's food before he eats it....
TARDIS requires extension to fit John Bishop’s teeth
Following the news that scouse comedian, John Bishop, was joining the ranks of Doctor Who it has been confirmed by the BBC that the...
English F.A. accidentally appoints wrong Neville after Phil answers Gary’s phone
The English F.A. was left red-faced this morning after they realised they had appointed Phil Neville instead of Gary Neville as the manager of...
Tommy Robinson urges supporters to boycott social media
People's champion, Tommy Robinson, has called for his army of loyal fans to boycott social media until his Facebook account is restored.
Tommy was banned...
Sacha Baron Cohen confirms Donald Trump is one of his characters
Comedy actor Sacha Baron Cohen, best known for playing Ali G and Borat, has today confirmed that President Donald Trump is in fact another...
Rachel Riley Hospitalised Trying To Calculate Vue Cinemas’ Popcorn Profit Margin
Mathematics bombshell, Rachel Riley, has been admitted to hospital suffering from fatigue after she attempted to calculate the profit margin on popcorn enjoyed by...
Boring James Milner parody account to SUE James Milner for copyright infringement
The PARODY Twitter account for James Milner, @BoringMilner, has announced it is suing the Liverpool player James Milner for copyright infringement.
For several years Boring...
Sexually adventurous couple indicates how many fingers they like up the bum during sex
In a recent survey, a sexually adventurous couple told an interviewer how many fingers they like each other to put up their bum during...
Queen wins Chester’s inaugural gurning competition
Her Majesty the Queen arrived in Chester this afternoon to enter the town’s inaugural gurning competition, where people attempt to make the most unpleasant...
New Brexit Secretary, Snake Plissken, pledges Escape from Europe
Theresa May has taken the unorthodox step of appointing fictional outlaw Snake Plissken as the new Brexit Secretary. Plissken has a reputation of not...
