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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...

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The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle. Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...

Gerry McCann to play VILLAIN in Steven Seagal child-trafficking movie

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Parenting expert, Gerry McCann, is to launch his acting career playing the villain opposite 80s portly powerhouse Steven Seagal in a new action film. The...

December best month for spotting shit neighbourhoods, says property guru

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Property guru Phil Spencer, one half of ‘Kirsty and Phil’ from TV’s Location Location Location has claimed that December is the best month for...

Keith Richards crashes FaceApp server

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Keith Richards, the 1000-year-old immortal who defies the laws of science and nature, was responsible for a server crash on the face ageing app...

Sacha Baron Cohen confirms Donald Trump is one of his characters

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Comedy actor Sacha Baron Cohen, best known for playing Ali G and Borat, has today confirmed that President Donald Trump is in fact another...

Prince Harry’s stag do to start in Ellesmere Port’s oldest surviving pub

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The Horse & Jockey, the oldest surviving pub in Ellesmere Port, is to be the stage for the start of Prince Henry of Wales’...

Mrs Brown’s Boys officially the second biggest cause of suicides over festive period

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Figures released by emotional support charity, The Samaritans, show that the BBC 'comedy' Mrs Brown's Boys was responsible for the second highest number of...

Fresh excavation of Pompeii discovers evidence of early Cliff Richard tour

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Archaeologists have uncovered a poster promoting a tour by UK pop star, Cliff Richard, displayed on a wall in the ruins of Pompeii. Pompeii was...

Jeremy Kyle clears calendar after visit to Ellesmere Port

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Bug-eyed aggressive chav baiter, Jeremy Kyle, has cleared his calendar for the next 6 months after spending 20 minutes in the Port Arcades in...

Room without a roof not particularly ‘happy’ Pharrell informed

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Popular rapper Pharrell Williams has been informed that a room missing its roof isn’t particularly happy, correcting his earlier confusion. In an upbeat tune, Pharrell...

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