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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

People with “Be Kind” on their profile photo “Absolute Twats” study finds

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The current trend of adding "Be Kind" to your profile photo on Facebook has been taken up by the country's biggest pricks, it has...

Jeremy Kyle clears calendar after visit to Ellesmere Port

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Bug-eyed aggressive chav baiter, Jeremy Kyle, has cleared his calendar for the next 6 months after spending 20 minutes in the Port Arcades in...

Louie Spence announces the gays will hit Texas with another hurricane

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Louie Spence has convened a meeting of the nation’s top gays to discuss the recent accusations from religious leaders. The gays have been blamed...

“I Told You I’d F*cking Get Rid Of Her!” – Kate Middleton yells at...

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The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, shocked onlookers today with a foul-mouthed outburst directed at Meghan Markle. Middleton, who was in Chester to open new...

Big Sam follows Paltrow with ‘Sweaty Bollocks’ Candle

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Big Sam Allardyce has followed celebrity weirdo Gwynelth Paltrow by releasing a set of candles that whiff of his genitalia. Actress, author and all-round nut-job...

David Dickinson FURY as Corbyn admits HATRED of orange Jews

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Bronzed TV host, David Dickinson, is enraged at the latest anti-Semitic outburst from Jeremy Corbyn. In a recent appearance on the breakfast TV show, Saturday...

Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey questioned by police over celebrity deaths

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Arsenal and Wales footballer, Aaron Ramsey, is today being questioned by Metropolitan Police detectives over a spate of celebrity deaths. It is alleged that Mr...

Rachel Riley Hospitalised Trying To Calculate Vue Cinemas’ Popcorn Profit Margin

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Mathematics bombshell, Rachel Riley, has been admitted to hospital suffering from fatigue after she attempted to calculate the profit margin on popcorn enjoyed by...

Serial killers forced to meet Piers Morgan ‘Inhumane’ rules European court

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The European Court of Human Rights has ruled that serial killers being forced to meet with Piers Morgan for his TV series ‘Serial Killer...

Richard Branson files for bankruptcy after booking Manchester to London on own train

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Bonkers billionaire Branson Bankrupt after booking a last-minute fair on one of his own trains this week. Richard Branson made the schoolboy error of buying...

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