A new report from leading scientists has confirmed that people who put their milk in their tea before the water suffer from lower intelligence. The report, released just last week, was produced by scientists working out of MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) and was led by Chester-born scientist Timothy Teathorpe.

The report showed that anyone who prefers to add the milk before the water is also prone to memory lapses, buying scratch cards and watching Judge Rinder.

Adversely, those who prefer to add the milk after the water has been added are more intelligent, and often have higher paid jobs in areas of responsibility.


This new report has been described as ground-breaking by the science world, as its application could be life-changing. Timothy Teathorpe, the scientist who led the research, commented:

Imagine conducting a job interview where all you have to do is ask the candidate to make a cup of tea. If the milk goes in first, they go out the door.

Detractors have claimed the research is fake, and that people who put the milk in first do so because they don’t want to ‘burn’ the tea leaves or tea bag. This has been dismissed by scientists however. Mr Teathorpe continued:

This is the sort of claptrap you expect from people with a low IQ. Burn the tea? Bloody idiots.

The full research paper will be made available to local councils later this month. Anyone wishing to read the paper is requested to contact their local council or MP.


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