Orange buffoon, Donald Trump, has cancelled his visit to King’s Landing amid fears he wouldn’t be welcome in Westeros by the Lannisters.

Trump was due to visit King’s Landing in February to open a new US embassy, but has decided not to attend as he’s afraid of what Queen, Cersei Lannister, might do to him. Trump has confirmed he’s also afraid of dragons, and that lady with the blonde hair scares the living shite out of him.

Donald Trump has spent the first 12 months of his presidential campaign living in his own little world, tweeting nonsense and making up countries in press conferences. Understandably, the idea of visiting the fictional King’s Landing to meet an evil queen filled tribble-topped Trump with dread.


President Trump plans to send an emissary in his place, Rex Tillerson, who will be offered to the Lannisters as a sacrifice.

Trump commented:

Westeros is a dangerous place. Many NO GO zones. VERY BAD!

Trump then muttered something about being a stable genius and got back to his work of sticking forks in plug sockets.

Queen Cersei Lannister was not available to comment due to the fact she’s fucking fictional.


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