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Wednesday, October 17, 2018
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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Shitting in a cupboard voted best thing about caravan holidays

In a recent survey of caravaners from The Caravan Club, taking a shit in a cupboard came top of the most enjoyed things about...

2,500 people inadvertently sign petition BACKING Gypsy and Traveller site in Ellesmere Port

A double-negative has meant that over 2,500 people have signed an online petition BACKING the creation of a proposed transit site in Ellesmere Port...

Lorry driver begins 20-minute overtaking manoevre

The driver of a Pound Stretcher lorry has just commenced a marathon 20-minute overtaking manoeuvre on the M42. The lorry driver is attempting to...

Car 300,000 miles from earth has Audi ‘up its arse flashing its lights’

A car owned by suspected Bond villain Elon Musk has been launched into space in order to orbit Mars. However, the car has already...

£2 MILLION lottery winner plans to spend HALF of fortune on 5 days at...

Ellesmere Port woman Mary Chow is excitedly planning a holiday of a lifetime at Center Parcs after scooping £2 million on this week’s lottery. Mary,...

Dance group 2 Unlimited admit there is a limit after attending Speed Awareness Course

The dance duo 2 Unlimited, consisting of Belgian rapper Ray Slijngaard and Dutch singer Anita Doth, have been forced to concede there is a...

British passengers forced to strip for EU airport security following Brexit

Anyone travelling to within the EU on a British passport will now be forced to strip naked for airport security, it has been revealed. The...

Woman’s yeast infection disproves ‘What happens in Vegas’ theory

Twenty-two-year-old Debbie, from Ellesmere Port, has contracted a terrible YEAST INFECTION on a recent trip to Las Vegas with the girlies. Debbie travelled out to...

Train fares disprove ‘what goes up’ theory

The prices commuters have to pay for a train have, today, disproven the long-standing belief that ‘what goes up must come down’. The theory, originally...

I’ve got 99 problems but the bitch ain’t one – insists train enthusiast

Local Ellesmere Port train spotter, Colin Bland, claims to have 99 problems in his life but the bitch, he says, is not amongst them. Colin...

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