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Wednesday, November 20, 2019
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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

‘Venice lacks common sense having so much water’ – says Jacob Rees-Mogg

The recent flooding of Venice, Italy, has been blamed on a 'lack of common sense' on the part of the Venetians by Tory MP,...

Cambridge Road speed limit reduced to Warp 6

The speed limit on Cambridge Road, Ellesmere Port, will soon been reduced to Warp 6, it has been confirmed. The new speed represents a...

Richard Branson files for bankruptcy after booking Manchester to London on own train

Bonkers billionaire Branson Bankrupt after booking a last-minute fair on one of his own trains this week. Richard Branson made the schoolboy error of buying...

Merseyrail plays ‘Big Bang Theory’ style prank on passengers

The pranksters at Merseyrail have admitted to playing an elaborate practical joke on passengers, inspired by the cult US comedy 'The Big...

Beluga XL not big enough for your Ma

The Beluga XL has arrived in Hawarden, after flying over Chester and Ellesmere Port, to pick up your Ma. Unfortunately, despite its...

Geordie buys long-sleeved T-Shirt for Chicago trip

A 19-year-old Geordie lad, named Jon, has purchased a long-sleeved Tee for his trip to Chicago after learning of the extra-cold weather...

Blacks to use back 6 rows confirms Ryanair

Budget airline Ryanair has confirmed plans to dispel the current belief that it tolerates racism aboard its aircraft. The plans, outlined this morning, include...

Shitting in a cupboard voted best thing about caravan holidays

In a recent survey of caravaners from The Caravan Club, taking a shit in a cupboard came top of the most enjoyed things about...

2,500 people inadvertently sign petition BACKING Gypsy and Traveller site in Ellesmere Port

A double-negative has meant that over 2,500 people have signed an online petition BACKING the creation of a proposed transit site in Ellesmere Port...

Lorry driver begins 20-minute overtaking manoevre

The driver of a Pound Stretcher lorry has just commenced a marathon 20-minute overtaking manoeuvre on the M42. The lorry driver is attempting to...

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