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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Arsenal defeat unites nation in mockery of Piers Morgan

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Arsenal's latest humiliating defeat has brought the country together in its dislike of famed moron, Piers Morgan. The defeat for Arsenal has sparked the interest...

Freedome now FREE after successful false advertising claim

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ADHD creche, the Freedome in Ellesmere Port, has been forced to stop charging customers after a successful challenge over its name. Single mother, and junior...

Doctors warn of UK coma epidemic as Michael Owen set to commentate on Man...

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Leading British doctors have predicted a rise in comas across the UK this weekend. The epitome of dull, monotone Michael Owen, has been chosen...

Man with ZERO interest in football hopes tonight he can stop pretending

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A CHESTER man, who describes himself as ‘bohemian’, has been feigning an interest in football for the past four weeks and tonight hopes he...

FIFA awards 2026 World Cup to highest briber

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A huge suitcase stuffed with cash was said to be the deciding factor on choosing the destination of the 2026 World Cup. FIFA today revealed...

Boring James Milner parody account to SUE James Milner for copyright infringement

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The PARODY Twitter account for James Milner, @BoringMilner, has announced it is suing the Liverpool player James Milner for copyright infringement. For several years Boring...

Man disappointed to find ‘Women’s Breast Stroke’ meant something else

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Dean Thomas, from Ellesmere Port, was disappointed today when he had cleared his afternoon to watch the final of the Women’s Breaststroke. Dean, who usually...

Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey questioned by police over celebrity deaths

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Arsenal and Wales footballer, Aaron Ramsey, is today being questioned by Metropolitan Police detectives over a spate of celebrity deaths. It is alleged that Mr...

I’ve already completed new Man City sponsor Tinder, claims Raheem Sterling

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Diminutive money-grabber, Raheem Sterling, claims to have already completed the game Tinder as they were announced as Manchester City’s new shirt sleeve sponsor earlier...

England Car Flags BANNED by Brussels

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Police instructed to issue £50 spot fines for anyone caught with them on their cars. In a parting shot against the UK, European bureaucrats...

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