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Friday, February 15, 2019

Country with no players but billions of dollars mysteriously wins Asian Cup

Qatar, a country with no footballers of note and no history in football, has mysteriously won the Asian Cup Final, defeating four-time...

Arsenal defeat unites nation in mockery of Piers Morgan

Arsenal's latest humiliating defeat has brought the country together in its dislike of famed moron, Piers Morgan. The defeat...

Freedome now FREE after successful false advertising claim

ADHD creche, the Freedome in Ellesmere Port, has been forced to stop charging customers after a successful challenge over its name. Single mother, and junior...

Doctors warn of UK coma epidemic as Michael Owen set to commentate on Man...

Leading British doctors have predicted a rise in comas across the UK this weekend. The epitome of dull, monotone Michael Owen, has been chosen...

Man with ZERO interest in football hopes tonight he can stop pretending

A CHESTER man, who describes himself as ‘bohemian’, has been feigning an interest in football for the past four weeks and tonight hopes he...

FIFA awards 2026 World Cup to highest briber

A huge suitcase stuffed with cash was said to be the deciding factor on choosing the destination of the 2026 World Cup. FIFA today revealed...

Boring James Milner parody account to SUE James Milner for copyright infringement

The PARODY Twitter account for James Milner, @BoringMilner, has announced it is suing the Liverpool player James Milner for copyright infringement. For several years Boring...

Man disappointed to find ‘Women’s Breast Stroke’ meant something else

Dean Thomas, from Ellesmere Port, was disappointed today when he had cleared his afternoon to watch the final of the Women’s Breaststroke. Dean, who usually...

Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey questioned by police over celebrity deaths

Arsenal and Wales footballer, Aaron Ramsey, is today being questioned by Metropolitan Police detectives over a spate of celebrity deaths. It is alleged that Mr...

I’ve already completed new Man City sponsor Tinder, claims Raheem Sterling

Diminutive money-grabber, Raheem Sterling, claims to have already completed the game Tinder as they were announced as Manchester City’s new shirt sleeve sponsor earlier...

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