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Tuesday, June 18, 2019
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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Wetherspoon to ‘enhance dining experience’ by microwaving meals at diners’ tables

The UK's dreariest pub chain, JD Wetherspoon, has announced it intends to compete with the current trend of having meals prepared at your table. Certain...

ISIS takes credit for London photo bombing

Terrorist organisation ISIS has claimed responsibility for the brutal photo bombing of a Cheshire couple’s holiday photo in London. Tom and Tammy Simkins, from Trinity...

McDonald’s to trial vending machines in Ellesmere Port

Peddler of high calorie children’s’ meals, McDonald’s, is to trial new vending machines in Ellesmere Port due to the uproar caused by the recent...

4×4 drivers especially smug this morning

Some light snowfall in certain areas of the UK, including Ellesmere Port and Chester, has resulted in increased smugness levels from 4x4...

Gammons enraged nobody wants to own f*cking up the UK

The nation’s gammons are said to be furious that nobody wants to take ownership for utterly f*cking up the country. Today saw Dominic Raab, the...

Tourette’s revealed as hoax by people who like swearing

Popular comedic disorder, Tourette’s, which sees people swear their tits off at inappropriate moments, has been revealed as a hoax, it has been confirmed. The...

Countess of Chester Hospital replaces Emergency Unit with Healing Crystals Ward

Chester’s nearest hospital has taken the unusual step of scrapping its emergency ward in favour of a new Healing Crystals ward. The move was made...

David Dickinson FURY as Corbyn admits HATRED of orange Jews

Bronzed TV host, David Dickinson, is enraged at the latest anti-Semitic outburst from Jeremy Corbyn. In a recent appearance on the breakfast TV show, Saturday...

EXCLUSIVE: What bin men get up to on their SIX DAYS OFF

We recently spent some time with some local Ellesmere Port bin men to see how they spend their ample free time. The results may...

Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs

Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television.

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