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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Childless Couple Seeks ‘Most Annoying’ Christmas Present for Friends’ Kids

A childless, incredibly happy, couple from Chester are shopping for the most annoying Christmas present for their friends' kids. Twenty-somethings Jenny and James Rowlands, from...

Gammons enraged nobody wants to own f*cking up the UK

The nation’s gammons are said to be furious that nobody wants to take ownership for utterly f*cking up the country. Today saw Dominic Raab, the...

Freedome now FREE after successful false advertising claim

ADHD creche, the Freedome in Ellesmere Port, has been forced to stop charging customers after a successful challenge over its name. Single mother, and junior...

Blacks to use back 6 rows confirms Ryanair

Budget airline Ryanair has confirmed plans to dispel the current belief that it tolerates racism aboard its aircraft. The plans, outlined this morning, include...

32 year old man still believes in Toilet Roll Fairy

A fully grown man, from Neston in Ellesmere Port, still firmly believes the toilet rolls in the house he shares with his 28 year...

Ellesmere Port café wins Halloween decoration contest despite not putting up decorations

A local café, in the Port Arcades, has won a nationwide Halloween decoration contest without entering, or putting up a single Halloween decoration. The café,...

Countess of Chester Hospital replaces Emergency Unit with Healing Crystals Ward

Chester’s nearest hospital has taken the unusual step of scrapping its emergency ward in favour of a new Healing Crystals ward. The move was made...

Local FURY as Cheshire Oaks renamed ‘Chester Oaks’

Ellesmere Port residents are reportedly furious at the decision to change the name of Cheshire Oaks to Chester Oaks. The name change, which has already...

Mum OUTRAGED as teacher tells breastfeeding student ‘I hope you’ve brought enough for everyone’

An Ellesmere Port mum has spoken of her disgust at her daughter being told ‘I hope you’ve brought enough for everyone’ by her teacher...

McDonald’s to trial vending machines in Ellesmere Port

Peddler of high calorie children’s’ meals, McDonald’s, is to trial new vending machines in Ellesmere Port due to the uproar caused by the recent...

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