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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Boris Johnson to represent UK in Eurovision 2019

UK to show Europe what an idiot who just makes stupid noises is all about. Following the winner of this year’s Eurovision, Netta from Israel,...

Room without a roof not particularly ‘happy’ Pharrell informed

Popular rapper Pharrell Williams has been informed that a room missing its roof isn’t particularly happy, correcting his earlier confusion. In an upbeat tune, Pharrell...

Ellesmere Port police issues WARNING over gang of wanted fugitives

Locals in Ellesmere Port have been warned by police to be vigilant over a gang of escaped convicts who are believed to be active...

Man disappointed to find ‘Women’s Breast Stroke’ meant something else

Dean Thomas, from Ellesmere Port, was disappointed today when he had cleared his afternoon to watch the final of the Women’s Breaststroke. Dean, who usually...

David Dickinson FURY as Corbyn admits HATRED of orange Jews

Bronzed TV host, David Dickinson, is enraged at the latest anti-Semitic outburst from Jeremy Corbyn. In a recent appearance on the breakfast TV show, Saturday...

Ellesmere Port Summer Jam Double Booked with Nudist Festival

Sunday 'jammers' need to be as naked as nature intended, it has been confirmed. Last year we reported how this summer’s Ellesmere Port Summer Jam...

Game of Thrones struggling to find UK locations where winter hasn’t already arrived

Producers on the hit HBO series, Game of Thrones, have been struggling to find locations within the UK for filming where winter is merely...

Requests for ‘bouncy castles’ on Facebook confirmed as code for plus size prostitutes

When people ask for recommendations for bouncy castles on Facebook, they’re really asking for recommendations for large prostitutes, it has been revealed. Facebook users have,...

Gerry McCann to play VILLAIN in Steven Seagal child-trafficking movie

Parenting expert, Gerry McCann, is to launch his acting career playing the villain opposite 80s portly powerhouse Steven Seagal in a new action film. The...

Ellesmere Port residents claim Wombles aren’t pulling their weight

Some residents in ELLESMERE PORT have announced they’re dissatisfied with the work being put in by Wombles, as the town still looks a shit-tip. They...

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