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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Gammons tell Shamima Begum to stay on International Space Station

British Schoolgirl, Shamima Begum, has been told by the UK's gammons to remain on the International Space Station. Shamima...

Gammons enraged nobody wants to own f*cking up the UK

The nation’s gammons are said to be furious that nobody wants to take ownership for utterly f*cking up the country. Today saw Dominic Raab, the...

The Voice winner once again forgets to tick box allowing publicity

This year's winner of The Voice, thingy, forgot to tick the box on their application form consenting to publicity. This oversight has...

ITV confirms Jungle Winner to be new Brexit Secretary

ITV has confirmed the winner of this year’s I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here will become the new Brexit Secretary, and will...

Disaster movies where government ignores scientists reclassified as documentaries

Big-budget Hollywood disaster movies, such as 2012 and San Andreas, have been reclassified as documentaries by the Internet Movie Database (IMDB).

Trump gamifies executions with real games of HANGMAN

In an attempt to make state executions more interesting, and appealing to the public, President Trump has introduced the ‘gamification’ of executions. Gamification is a...

Michael Gove returns to animated crime-fighting job

In a shock announcement that will further destabilise Prime Minister Theresa May’s shaky government, Environment Secretary Michael Gove has stood down from his post...

Teenager explains why UK government’s porn block is bollocks

A random teenager, named Kevin, has explained why the recently announced porn block that hopes to restrict teenagers under the age of 18 from...

Facebook Likes marginally better than prayers, confirms Pope

Pope Francis has today confirmed that Facebook 'likes' are marginally better than prayers when it comes to offering them in support of...

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