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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Grapes reclassified as ‘wine foetuses’ by alcohol rights campaigners

A bold campaign by alcohol rights groups is expected to be successful in labelling grapes as wine foetuses, giving grapes the same rights as...

Game of Thrones struggling to find UK locations where winter hasn’t already arrived

Producers on the hit HBO series, Game of Thrones, have been struggling to find locations within the UK for filming where winter is merely...

English F.A. accidentally appoints wrong Neville after Phil answers Gary’s phone

The English F.A. was left red-faced this morning after they realised they had appointed Phil Neville instead of Gary Neville as the manager of...

I’ve already completed new Man City sponsor Tinder, claims Raheem Sterling

Diminutive money-grabber, Raheem Sterling, claims to have already completed the game Tinder as they were announced as Manchester City’s new shirt sleeve sponsor earlier...

Gammons tell Shamima Begum to stay on International Space Station

British Schoolgirl, Shamima Begum, has been told by the UK's gammons to remain on the International Space Station. Shamima...

The Voice winner once again forgets to tick box allowing publicity

This year's winner of The Voice, thingy, forgot to tick the box on their application form consenting to publicity. This oversight has...

Gammons enraged nobody wants to own f*cking up the UK

The nation’s gammons are said to be furious that nobody wants to take ownership for utterly f*cking up the country. Today saw Dominic Raab, the...

Disaster movies where government ignores scientists reclassified as documentaries

Big-budget Hollywood disaster movies, such as 2012 and San Andreas, have been reclassified as documentaries by the Internet Movie Database (IMDB).

ITV confirms Jungle Winner to be new Brexit Secretary

ITV has confirmed the winner of this year’s I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here will become the new Brexit Secretary, and will...

Michael Gove returns to animated crime-fighting job

In a shock announcement that will further destabilise Prime Minister Theresa May’s shaky government, Environment Secretary Michael Gove has stood down from his post...

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