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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

I’ve already completed new Man City sponsor Tinder, claims Raheem Sterling

Diminutive money-grabber, Raheem Sterling, claims to have already completed the game Tinder as they were announced as Manchester City’s new shirt sleeve sponsor earlier...

Racist morons shocked chief racist moron banned from Twitter

A cluster of racist idiots have expressed their dismay on the social networking website, Twitter, about the banning of their imperious leader. The decision by...

Brighthouse now accepting human souls as payment

Popular chav store, Brighthouse, has confirmed it is now accepting human souls as payment for products in each of its 270+ shops. The ‘rent to...

‘Sorry About the Smell’ voted NEW Ellesmere Port town slogan

A competition to find a new town slogan for Ellesmere Port has found a popular winner, with the chosen slogan set to be used...

Jayda Fransen to front new Daz: Whiter Than White campaign

Britain First pin-up, Jayda Fransen, has been selected to front a new TV campaign for the washing powder Daz. Fransen, who recently had some tweets...

BMW issues apology after selling car to man who isn’t a twat

German car manufacturer, BMW, has issued a full and unreserved apology after it emerged they sold a car to a man who isn’t a...

Tommy Robinson Announces De-Colouring Book

Conformity champion and former EDL leader, Tommy Robinson, has appeared on morning television to announce his de-colouring book. The new book hopes to tap...

Nominate your dealer for Drug Dealer of the Year 2018

If your dealer is voted Drug Dealer of the Year 2018 he, or she, will win £1,000 in cash and you will receive £1,000...

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