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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

I’ve already completed new Man City sponsor Tinder, claims Raheem Sterling

Diminutive money-grabber, Raheem Sterling, claims to have already completed the game Tinder as they were announced as Manchester City’s new shirt sleeve sponsor earlier...

Men tell women to give glass ceiling ‘bit of a clean’

The men at a Chester based accountants have told the female staff members to give their glass ceiling a bit of a clean, it...

The Voice exposed as FBI Witness Protection Program

The FBI, in the USA, has been exposed as having created the TV ‘talent’ show ‘The Voice’ as a witness protection program so that...

NFL player takes knee in protest, accidentally gets engaged to cheerleader

NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the national anthem this weekend to protest Donald Trump, and inadvertently found himself engaged to cheerleader...

English rock band ‘Manfred Mann’ forced to change name to ‘Gender-Neutral Fred Gender Neutral’

LIBERAL campaigners have successfully forced the 1960s English rock band, Manfred Mann, to change their name to Gender-Neutral Fred Gender Neutral so as not...

Boris Johnson to represent UK in Eurovision 2019

UK to show Europe what an idiot who just makes stupid noises is all about. Following the winner of this year’s Eurovision, Netta from Israel,...

Ellesmere Port Asda first to hire FAT PEOPLE as human bicycle racks

Chubby trouser tamers can now earn some extra pasty money by acting as bicycle racks outside Asda in Ellesmere Port. The move was announced this...

Chester FC needs to raise £50,000 to pay interest on £5 Wonga loan from...

Chester FC has announced it is in deep financial bother this week as it needs to raise £50,000 by the end of the month...

Room without a roof not particularly ‘happy’ Pharrell informed

Popular rapper Pharrell Williams has been informed that a room missing its roof isn’t particularly happy, correcting his earlier confusion. In an upbeat tune, Pharrell...

Family of meerkats escapes Chester Zoo

An entire family of meerkats has plotted and executed a daring escape from Chester Zoo, it was confirmed earlier today. According to sources, the meerkats...

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