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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Richard Branson files for bankruptcy after booking Manchester to London on own train

Bonkers billionaire Branson Bankrupt after booking a last-minute fair on one of his own trains this week. Richard Branson made the schoolboy error of buying...

Louie Spence announces the gays will hit Texas with another hurricane

Louie Spence has convened a meeting of the nation’s top gays to discuss the recent accusations from religious leaders. The gays have been blamed...

Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey questioned by police over celebrity deaths

Arsenal and Wales footballer, Aaron Ramsey, is today being questioned by Metropolitan Police detectives over a spate of celebrity deaths. It is alleged that Mr...

YODEL and CSA combine to create one big clusterfuck

Lovers of absolute chaos and dimwittery are rejoicing today as the Child Support Agency announced a partnership deal with parcel destroyer YODEL. YODEL is consistently...

David Dickinson FURY as Corbyn admits HATRED of orange Jews

Bronzed TV host, David Dickinson, is enraged at the latest anti-Semitic outburst from Jeremy Corbyn. In a recent appearance on the breakfast TV show, Saturday...

The Voice winner once again forgets to tick box allowing publicity

This year's winner of The Voice, thingy, forgot to tick the box on their application form consenting to publicity. This oversight has...

Cheddar Man declared ‘Fit for work’ by DWP

The Cheddar Man, who has not been officially named for legal reasons, has been declared fit for work by the Department for Work and...

Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs

Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television.

New Cheshire Oaks fashion store tells shoppers “You’re too ugly to enter”

A new up-market fashion brand, recently opened in Cheshire Oaks, has caused uproar among locals by telling some shoppers they are “too ugly to...

BMW issues apology after selling car to man who isn’t a twat

German car manufacturer, BMW, has issued a full and unreserved apology after it emerged they sold a car to a man who isn’t a...

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