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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Phil Jones appointed new Secretary of State for Defence

Manchester United ace, Phil Jones, has been appointed by PM Theresa May as the new Secretary of State for Defence for the United Kingdom. The...

Serial killers forced to meet Piers Morgan ‘Inhumane’ rules European court

The European Court of Human Rights has ruled that serial killers being forced to meet with Piers Morgan for his TV series ‘Serial Killer...

Wetherspoon to ‘enhance dining experience’ by microwaving meals at diners’ tables

The UK's dreariest pub chain, JD Wetherspoon, has announced it intends to compete with the current trend of having meals prepared at your table. Certain...

Teenager explains why UK government’s porn block is bollocks

A random teenager, named Kevin, has explained why the recently announced porn block that hopes to restrict teenagers under the age of 18 from...

Facebook Likes marginally better than prayers, confirms Pope

Pope Francis has today confirmed that Facebook 'likes' are marginally better than prayers when it comes to offering them in support of...

Tommy Robinson urges supporters to boycott social media

People's champion, Tommy Robinson, has called for his army of loyal fans to boycott social media until his Facebook account is restored.

Gammons tell Shamima Begum to stay on International Space Station

British Schoolgirl, Shamima Begum, has been told by the UK's gammons to remain on the International Space Station. Shamima...

Disaster movies where government ignores scientists reclassified as documentaries

Big-budget Hollywood disaster movies, such as 2012 and San Andreas, have been reclassified as documentaries by the Internet Movie Database (IMDB).

Margaret Thatcher statue to be displayed in Ellesmere Port

The statue of former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, is to be displayed in Ellesmere Port, it has been revealed.

Government hires YODEL to deliver Brexit

In a move of unrivaled incompetence, the Tory government has hired parcel-delivery shirkers YODEL to deliver Brexit. YODEL, it was revealed by...

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