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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Facebook Likes marginally better than prayers, confirms Pope

Pope Francis has today confirmed that Facebook 'likes' are marginally better than prayers when it comes to offering them in support of...

Tommy Robinson urges supporters to boycott social media

People's champion, Tommy Robinson, has called for his army of loyal fans to boycott social media until his Facebook account is restored.

Gammons tell Shamima Begum to stay on International Space Station

British Schoolgirl, Shamima Begum, has been told by the UK's gammons to remain on the International Space Station. Shamima...

Disaster movies where government ignores scientists reclassified as documentaries

Big-budget Hollywood disaster movies, such as 2012 and San Andreas, have been reclassified as documentaries by the Internet Movie Database (IMDB).

Margaret Thatcher statue to be displayed in Ellesmere Port

The statue of former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, is to be displayed in Ellesmere Port, it has been revealed.

Government hires YODEL to deliver Brexit

In a move of unrivaled incompetence, the Tory government has hired parcel-delivery shirkers YODEL to deliver Brexit. YODEL, it was revealed by...

Piers Morgan still a cunt

It was today confirmed that annoying fat head, Piers Morgan, is still a cunt. Rumours were circulating online yesterday...

Arsenal defeat unites nation in mockery of Piers Morgan

Arsenal's latest humiliating defeat has brought the country together in its dislike of famed moron, Piers Morgan. The defeat...

Boris Johnson to return to selling Sugar Puffs

Flop-haired serial shagger, Boris Johnson, is to return to his original career advertising Sugar Puffs on the television.

CONFIRMED: 97% of chefs wipe their cock on Piers Morgan’s food

A recent poll of the nation's chefs has confirmed that 97% admitted to wiping their cock on Piers Morgan's food before he...

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