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From festivals in Florida to touring Dracula’s digs in Romania, we round up the best destinations to visit this October. As summer abandons Europe again this October, eke out the last of the rays and raves in Ibiza, where nightclubs will be going out with a bang for the winter break. When the party finally stops head to the island’s north.

Boris Johnson to represent UK in Eurovision 2019

UK to show Europe what an idiot who just makes stupid noises is all about. Following the winner of this year’s Eurovision, Netta from Israel,...

Room without a roof not particularly ‘happy’ Pharrell informed

Popular rapper Pharrell Williams has been informed that a room missing its roof isn’t particularly happy, correcting his earlier confusion. In an upbeat tune, Pharrell...

Not a single problem that couldn’t be solved with more guns – claims Trump

Orange buffoon, Donald Trump, declared there isn’t a single problem in the world that couldn’t be solved by adding more guns to the mix. Speaking...

Boring James Milner parody account to SUE James Milner for copyright infringement

The PARODY Twitter account for James Milner, @BoringMilner, has announced it is suing the Liverpool player James Milner for copyright infringement. For several years Boring...

Ellesmere Port police issues WARNING over gang of wanted fugitives

Locals in Ellesmere Port have been warned by police to be vigilant over a gang of escaped convicts who are believed to be active...

Ellesmere Port Asda first to hire FAT PEOPLE as human bicycle racks

Chubby trouser tamers can now earn some extra pasty money by acting as bicycle racks outside Asda in Ellesmere Port. The move was announced this...

Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey questioned by police over celebrity deaths

Arsenal and Wales footballer, Aaron Ramsey, is today being questioned by Metropolitan Police detectives over a spate of celebrity deaths. It is alleged that Mr...

I’ve already completed new Man City sponsor Tinder, claims Raheem Sterling

Diminutive money-grabber, Raheem Sterling, claims to have already completed the game Tinder as they were announced as Manchester City’s new shirt sleeve sponsor earlier...

David Dickinson FURY as Corbyn admits HATRED of orange Jews

Bronzed TV host, David Dickinson, is enraged at the latest anti-Semitic outburst from Jeremy Corbyn. In a recent appearance on the breakfast TV show, Saturday...

Coinstar CEO laughing tits off at poor who give him money

The CEO of Coinstar, Erik E. Prusch, has been laughing his absolute tits off at all of the poor people who chuck their money...

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