In a move of unrivaled incompetence, the Tory government has hired parcel-delivery shirkers YODEL to deliver Brexit. YODEL, it was revealed by this week’s Brexit Secretary, Stephen Barclay, is the perfect partner to deliver this shitstorm of a shambles.
YODEL has famously won the poll on Money Saving Expert‘s website several years running for ‘Worst Delivery Firm in the UK‘, and regularly features in the news for stories involving its couriers stealing from homes, lying about deliveries, throwing parcels on roofs and even taking a shit in a customer’s garden.
Now, it seems, YODEL’s inability to deliver anything on time will be put to good use as they attempt to deliver Brexit. It is believed that Brexit was picked up by a YODEL courier sometime around 9pm last night, to be delivered to the UK people by March 29th. The tracking on YODEL’s website showed that Brexit is currently in Runcorn, and is expected to be driven randomly around the UK before eventually getting lost, or thrown in someone’s garden.
Once Brexit isn’t delivered, YODEL will be on hand on Twitter to offer automated responses to the British public asking where their delivery of Brexit has ended up. After asking them to send a DM and then ignoring them for two days, YODEL is expected to tell the British people to contact the sender.
Speaking this morning, Stephen Barclay (probably unrelated to YODEL owners David and Frederick Barclay) commented:
There’s no one better than YODEL to deliver Brexit by March 29th. We advise the whole of the UK to wait in all day for their delivery of Brexit, before checking their neighbours’ gardens.
If you want to check on your delivery of Brexit, tweet @YodelOnline on Twitter. It’s automated, so they’ll probably reply.Hey @YodelOnline, Where is my delivery of Brexit? The @ChesterBugle said I should ask you. Click To Tweet